Flattery Will Get You Everywhere

There is nothing more motivating for your weight loss than compliments.

I mean there are other factors that should motivate me. There's the benefit to my health. There's the little sticker I get from Weight Watchers. There's the ability to fit, without gasping, into pre-pregnancy clothes.

But those all pale in comparison to one or two sincere compliments.

Chris Rock said it best: "Women need three things: food, water, and compliments."

I got two this week. It just felt really good for someone to acknowledge my hard work.

Sampson

It is with much shame that I am about to admit this . . . but I want to preface it first . . .

Like many Black women, I have hair issues. Being biracial and growing up with a white, rather no-nonsense mother, didn't really help. Though my sister and I always had a healthy crop of thick hair, I don't think either of us knew what to do with it between the 3 times a year that we went to the shop. It was really the blind leading the blind - we experimented with Pink Oil, water and every form of grease there was. And it RARELY looked good.

In college, I found salvation in the form of my sorhority sisters. They immediately took me in and said, "Well, we must do something about this hair." I couldn't afford regular visits to the beauty salon, nor did I have transportation to downtown San Diego to the shops when I did. So my prhophytes gave me perms in my kitchen and taught me how to wrap my hair. Those were good times . . . soon after college, I got a salary and a car and was cool . . . and my hair didn't impede me from too much . . .

Then about 3 years ago, after cutting my hair very short, I decided I would stop getting it chemically relaxed. I thought it might be damaging and frankly I was sick of the cost and the monthly burns. Now, my hair is completely natural (I still straighten it, but the perm has totally grown out) and now it is impeding me. And so I have to admit this . . . I will not exercise if I have just gotten my hair done.

That's pathetic, I know. But it's true. I spend 2 hours and $50 getting my hair straightened twice a month and now that I am perm-free, one drop of moisture COMPLETELY ruins it and renders that 2 hours and $50 completely meaningless.

Schools are now concerned about this - seems that some young Black girls are willing to FAIL their PE classes because they don't want to mess up their hair. This is VERY SAD. On the surface level, it seems REALLY stupid to choose your freakin hair over your health. And logically it IS. But last week, when I had the time and energy to work out but decided not to because I had just gotten my hair done, I realized just how PATHETIC it is as well as stupid . . .

Like many things I write in this blog, I don't know what the solution is (invest in better head wraps?). But it sure made me feel better to admit it . . .

Cleaning Out My Closet

About a year ago, I went to my coworker's 50th b-day party. She had on a fabulous dress, and I told her so. She said, "Yeah, I thought this is something that you would wear." I laughed - indeed, it WAS something I would totally wear.

About a month or two ago, a different coworker had on a dress that I also thought was fabulous. I told her I liked it and would totally wear it. She said, "I thought of you when I bought this - I knew you would like it." I laughed again because it was true - but this time I didn't laugh for as long.

Seems I have a style. And others notice.

This realization came to a head two weeks ago when I attempted to clean out my closet. I was motivated to do so because it disgusted me and I couldn't even walk in it. Meanwhile, I was lamenting every morning because I had nothing to wear. So I got online to my favorite website (Oprah.com) and found some tips for cleaning out your closet.

I started with this rack of dresses I had. As per Oprah's tips, I tried on every single dress I own. One after the other. By dress #5 I realized that I was trying on the same style dress. Sure, the length or the pattern or the fabric was different. But it was nonetheless the same dress.

I am so boring.

I have admitted in prior blog entries that I'm not super into fashion. I favor the functional over the bold. I was told once that my personality was FLAMBOYANT so I didn't need my clothes to be FLAMBOYANT too.

But for two separate people that I work with - and these are not people who I hang out with on a regular basis, mind you - to notice that I favor the same types of clothes and for every dress I own to be the same . . . I mean, that means I am officially BORING.

I commenced to cleaning my entire closet. I got rid of clothes that didn't fit unless I sucked in. I got rid of clothes that fit but were unflattering. I got rid of the multiple dresses I had in the same style. Now I am left with a bare bones closet of clothes that I actually wear and that seem to work for me. There were maybe 2-3 things I couldn't bear to get rid of because I know they will be useful one day (a formal dress that doesn't quite fit but that was expensive and I know is close to fitting, a work outfit that I really like that is a little tight over my still-nursing boobs, etc.). But for the most part my closet is EMPTY.

I will admit that the clothes I got rid of I technically didn't get rid of per se - they're still sitting in bags in my hallway. I don't think I am quite ready to give them away yet. But I will. I just need to get up the courage . . . change is hard.

Meanwhile, I am trying really hard to build my wardrobe back up - this time, using more tips from Oprah.com and focusing on the few quality pieces that every working woman needs.

And the bags of clothes still sit in my hallway . . .