Okay, I am quite sure that the List of Things I Vow to Not Do Upon Entering Motherhood will be a long list, and will probably be impossible to actually sit down and write in one setting. But there's one that I have to get off my chest, first and foremost . . .
One of the primary things I am vowing to not do is send out to the masses delivery room pictures. Sure we'll take them and treasure them, and they'll go to family and whomever wants to see them, but I'm just going to be honest when I tell you that delivery room pictures freak me out. The mother always looks exhausted and the baby looks weird. These of course are natural things - after all I hear it is exhausting and your baby does not come out look like it's about to be in a Gerber ad. Even though my arrival is coming around the holidays, I will not be sending out Xmas cards featuring me, him, and his dad all smiles, with the hospital bed and IV cords in the background.
Babies all look the same when they're born. Let's be honest. And it takes a couple months before you can really see what (and who) they're going to look like. With the exception of my niece, I have never seen a newborn baby resemble anyone except, well, a little old man. Like every mother, I plan on showing off my kid. I'm fairly confident, given the gene combination, he'll be a nice looking baby. However, I prefer to arrange his first cover shots when he isn't wrinkled, red, and with a misshapen head from the trip down the birth canal.
So maybe you'll get a New Year's card from me . . .
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
When Life Gives You Lemons . . .
Okay, I am about to make a comment that : pregnancy is good for your diet.
Let me explain: everyone's experience is different, don't get me wrong. And you're supposed to gain weight and bust out of your clothes - this is the only time you get a pass for being unable to buckle your seat belt. I don't mean because now that you're responsible for another being, all of the sudden you start eating healthy. I mean suddenly those foods that you loved suddenly no longer have a hold over you. In fact, food no longer has a hold over you.
Now granted, I have not seen any pictures of myself (and I AVOID the camera like I'm on America's Most Wanted), so I could look like a cow. I certainly feel like one. But on the other hand, I don't think (and neither does the doctor) that I have gained too, too much weight. And considering the amount of time I am sedentary (not by choice!) that is a surprise.
There are two things that are happening that are preventing my rapid weight gain: my nose and my appetite.
I feel like a damn Bloodhound these days. I smell smells that no one else smells, that never bothered me before. They get stuck in my throat and I cannot even think about food. For example, there's a restaurant in downtown Oakland (it shall remain nameless) that I have frequented a couple times. For some reason, the smell in there just makes me SICK. It doesn't stink, at least not in the traditional sense, but I CANNOT stand the smell. And so I'm just not as hungry.
And then there's the lingering morning sickness. It's not as bad as it was for the first 4 MONTHS, but sometimes it comes in waves. And my stomach says, "You are not putting anything in me, I don't THINK so." So I just don't feel like eating. At the same time, it conspires against me sometimes. For example, for about a week all I have wanted to eat was berry pie. I think I told everyone that I was lusting for some berry pie in hopes they would feel pity and bring me something. I could have eaten berry pie all day (I actually did one day, when someone was nice enough to bring some berry cobbler). Prior to that I was obsessing over an Orange Julius. I even tried making one in my blender (didn't work out). And I almost cried when, after a quick web search, I saw the nearest Orange Julius was in Hayward at the mall. Damn bed rest.
In the end it balances out - the hate of a certain unhealthy restaurant and the love of berry pie have worked out so that I haven't gained too much weight, I don't have gestational diabetes and I didn't have any new cavities at my last dentist visit.
So besides the whole bringing new life into the world benefit of pregnancy, perhaps the choke hold that food has held over me for the last 20 years will loosen up too.
As my friend Jesse says (for no other reason than it sounds cool), "Take that, Sasha Fierce!"
Let me explain: everyone's experience is different, don't get me wrong. And you're supposed to gain weight and bust out of your clothes - this is the only time you get a pass for being unable to buckle your seat belt. I don't mean because now that you're responsible for another being, all of the sudden you start eating healthy. I mean suddenly those foods that you loved suddenly no longer have a hold over you. In fact, food no longer has a hold over you.
Now granted, I have not seen any pictures of myself (and I AVOID the camera like I'm on America's Most Wanted), so I could look like a cow. I certainly feel like one. But on the other hand, I don't think (and neither does the doctor) that I have gained too, too much weight. And considering the amount of time I am sedentary (not by choice!) that is a surprise.
There are two things that are happening that are preventing my rapid weight gain: my nose and my appetite.
I feel like a damn Bloodhound these days. I smell smells that no one else smells, that never bothered me before. They get stuck in my throat and I cannot even think about food. For example, there's a restaurant in downtown Oakland (it shall remain nameless) that I have frequented a couple times. For some reason, the smell in there just makes me SICK. It doesn't stink, at least not in the traditional sense, but I CANNOT stand the smell. And so I'm just not as hungry.
And then there's the lingering morning sickness. It's not as bad as it was for the first 4 MONTHS, but sometimes it comes in waves. And my stomach says, "You are not putting anything in me, I don't THINK so." So I just don't feel like eating. At the same time, it conspires against me sometimes. For example, for about a week all I have wanted to eat was berry pie. I think I told everyone that I was lusting for some berry pie in hopes they would feel pity and bring me something. I could have eaten berry pie all day (I actually did one day, when someone was nice enough to bring some berry cobbler). Prior to that I was obsessing over an Orange Julius. I even tried making one in my blender (didn't work out). And I almost cried when, after a quick web search, I saw the nearest Orange Julius was in Hayward at the mall. Damn bed rest.
In the end it balances out - the hate of a certain unhealthy restaurant and the love of berry pie have worked out so that I haven't gained too much weight, I don't have gestational diabetes and I didn't have any new cavities at my last dentist visit.
So besides the whole bringing new life into the world benefit of pregnancy, perhaps the choke hold that food has held over me for the last 20 years will loosen up too.
As my friend Jesse says (for no other reason than it sounds cool), "Take that, Sasha Fierce!"
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Able was I ere I saw Elba
Yes, folks, that's right, like Napoleon I am EXILED. Not to Elba, just to my house.
About a month ago, I found out that there was some funneling in my cervix and the doctor recommended a cerclage be inserted. The result of that was that I was to be on bed rest for at least 4 weeks - maybe more. Today marks the 1 month anniversary of the cerclage surgery and my exile.
Medically, things have actually been going well. Except for the fact that my lower body is pretty sore from sitting around most of the day, I feel fine. I think the effect of bedrest (or as I call it EXILE) is more mental. With that, I present my lists of the bed and worst parts of being on Exile.
Top 5 WORST Things About Being on Bedrest
5. Inability to push a vacuum: I hate when my carpets look dirty
4. Lack of privacy: Being able to buy, um, personal items at the store is really difficult when you have to ask your mom or your significant other to pick them up.
3. Declining social skills: I'm not around people regularly, so I wonder if I am losing my ability to be the life of the party. Now, I'm not positive I was the life of the party before this, but now I know I'm not . . .
2. Addiction to Facebook: As sad as it is, the main window I have into the world outside my apartment is really Facebook. How I long for people to tell me, via their status updates, what they're doing, what the world is like . . .
1. Disappointment in TV: Normally I am a HUGE TV watcher. Even though I read and am mildly social, I have always enjoyed television. And TV in the summer sucks. There are a few shows that stand out, but for the most part, a girl can only watch reruns of "Seinfeld" and "King of Queens" so much. It is sad because I have always been able to rely on TV to distract me and cheer me up. But now, I seem to be more annoyed by it. And I find myself actually enjoying the most ridiculous reality TV shows (OMG, "Megan Wants a Millionaire"?) . . . so, so sad.
On the other hand, there are some upsides of being down. . . .
The Top 5 BEST Things About Bedrest
5. Inability to vacuum: okay, I hate it when they're dirty, but at least it doesn't reflect on my character or my potential to be a good wife.
4. Telecommuting: When I did my monthly budget, I was amazed at how much money I had saved in gas and other expenses by not commuting to work. I guess Suze Orman is right - eating out really does cost you!
3. The Internet: It is amazing how much stuff there is out there on the 'Net!
2. License to be grouchy: Hey, you try being trapped in your house during the summer. I don't think anyone is looking at me sideways when I'm a bit snarky. And if they are, well, that's pretty selfish considering they have their freedom!
1. Food: By far the best part - that is when people bring me some. I'm not supposed to be on my feet or doing major cooking. So if anyone asks "Is there anything I can do?" I can easily tell them "How bout bringing me some food?" Now that is AWESOME.
I'm making the best of the situation, I think. Despite a couple of grouchy moments, I think for the most part I'm being positive and trying to enjoy my last few months without many demands. My EXILE may get longer, or may end. But as long as I'm here, I at least can try to entertain you with my blog . . .
About a month ago, I found out that there was some funneling in my cervix and the doctor recommended a cerclage be inserted. The result of that was that I was to be on bed rest for at least 4 weeks - maybe more. Today marks the 1 month anniversary of the cerclage surgery and my exile.
Medically, things have actually been going well. Except for the fact that my lower body is pretty sore from sitting around most of the day, I feel fine. I think the effect of bedrest (or as I call it EXILE) is more mental. With that, I present my lists of the bed and worst parts of being on Exile.
Top 5 WORST Things About Being on Bedrest
5. Inability to push a vacuum: I hate when my carpets look dirty
4. Lack of privacy: Being able to buy, um, personal items at the store is really difficult when you have to ask your mom or your significant other to pick them up.
3. Declining social skills: I'm not around people regularly, so I wonder if I am losing my ability to be the life of the party. Now, I'm not positive I was the life of the party before this, but now I know I'm not . . .
2. Addiction to Facebook: As sad as it is, the main window I have into the world outside my apartment is really Facebook. How I long for people to tell me, via their status updates, what they're doing, what the world is like . . .
1. Disappointment in TV: Normally I am a HUGE TV watcher. Even though I read and am mildly social, I have always enjoyed television. And TV in the summer sucks. There are a few shows that stand out, but for the most part, a girl can only watch reruns of "Seinfeld" and "King of Queens" so much. It is sad because I have always been able to rely on TV to distract me and cheer me up. But now, I seem to be more annoyed by it. And I find myself actually enjoying the most ridiculous reality TV shows (OMG, "Megan Wants a Millionaire"?) . . . so, so sad.
On the other hand, there are some upsides of being down. . . .
The Top 5 BEST Things About Bedrest
5. Inability to vacuum: okay, I hate it when they're dirty, but at least it doesn't reflect on my character or my potential to be a good wife.
4. Telecommuting: When I did my monthly budget, I was amazed at how much money I had saved in gas and other expenses by not commuting to work. I guess Suze Orman is right - eating out really does cost you!
3. The Internet: It is amazing how much stuff there is out there on the 'Net!
2. License to be grouchy: Hey, you try being trapped in your house during the summer. I don't think anyone is looking at me sideways when I'm a bit snarky. And if they are, well, that's pretty selfish considering they have their freedom!
1. Food: By far the best part - that is when people bring me some. I'm not supposed to be on my feet or doing major cooking. So if anyone asks "Is there anything I can do?" I can easily tell them "How bout bringing me some food?" Now that is AWESOME.
I'm making the best of the situation, I think. Despite a couple of grouchy moments, I think for the most part I'm being positive and trying to enjoy my last few months without many demands. My EXILE may get longer, or may end. But as long as I'm here, I at least can try to entertain you with my blog . . .
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