As much as I would like to blame all my weight problems on men, I realize that it's not only men, it's my level of singlehood that influences my diet. Yes, I totally believe there are different levels of being single. And I was thinking that I've noticed they totally influence my diet.
Level One - "I'm SINGLE, SINGLE"
This level can either be disastrous for your diet or great for it, depending on when it occurs. This is when you're super single. You're not engaged in some sort of text-based relationship or be e-mailing someone or involved with any sort of booty call. This is when you are dating YOURSELF. There is no man in your life, and you're not looking for one. In fact, at some point you forget what it's like to get your door opened for you or have a 2 hour make out session. This usually occurs when you get out of a relationship. If I'm too close to my break-up, then I spend this level eating taquitos or strawberry cheesecake ice cream, and justifying it in some way. Like, "He treated me so bad, I totally deserve this extra [slice/piece/leg, etc.] of [insert food here]." So, of course I gain a few pounds at the SINGLE, SINGLE LEVEL. And then at some point, I become disgusted with myself and get all into the Monday night Abs class at Gold's Gym and the Lake Merrit Farmer's Market on Saturday mornings. And that is when SINGLE, SINGLE is great for my health.
Level Two - "My Dance Card is Almost Full"
I have noticed that when I am single, but I am open to dating, I am still very health-conscious. I usually start going out with friends and smiling back at strangers on the street. I think I am motivated by the positive attention I receive from men (rather than avoidance of it that occurs in Level One) and I attribute it to my newfound healthy habits. I also have free time to devote to myself because I'm not necessarily seeing one person regularly. It's like being asked to dance enough to know you look pretty good, but not too much so that you hair is sweated out (or your dance card is full). I think I am probably at my happiest at this level because I'm very ME focused.
Level Three - "Uh Oh, I like Someone"
Okay, this time is when things start to go south for me. I've met someone that I'm very interested in and I start becoming less ME focused and more HIM focused. Regardless of whether or not the guy is a High Metabolism Guy or a Workout Guy (it's doubtful a Diet Guy would make it to this Level with me), we're engaging in the getting-to-know-you activities which usually involve dinners, drinks or long phone conversations. Plus I'm usually tired because I'm trying to figure out the best way to incorporate this man into my life. It's not the worst level though, because although I've met someone I like in Level Three, I'm not 100% sold on him, so I still do take time for myself.
Level Four - "Jamila and [insert name here] Sitting in a Tree . . ."
This is the WORST for me - depending on the kind of man I'm involved with of course. But the point is, I notice that when I am "technically" single (like I'm still checking the Single box on my 1040 forms), I am so into my relationship and doing things for my new man, that I totally forget about myself. Not that any of the men who I've been involved with would ever tell you, "Yeah, that Jamila really took care of me. Did my laundry, washed my feet, rotated my tires." I'm not one of those kinds of chicks. But when I like someone I LIKE them and it makes me happy to make them happy. Unless the man has good eating and physical activity habits, I totally do not. Plus, all that time I spent on myself and working out, I now spend on him. Not okay.
Level One - "I'm SINGLE, SINGLE"
This level can either be disastrous for your diet or great for it, depending on when it occurs. This is when you're super single. You're not engaged in some sort of text-based relationship or be e-mailing someone or involved with any sort of booty call. This is when you are dating YOURSELF. There is no man in your life, and you're not looking for one. In fact, at some point you forget what it's like to get your door opened for you or have a 2 hour make out session. This usually occurs when you get out of a relationship. If I'm too close to my break-up, then I spend this level eating taquitos or strawberry cheesecake ice cream, and justifying it in some way. Like, "He treated me so bad, I totally deserve this extra [slice/piece/leg, etc.] of [insert food here]." So, of course I gain a few pounds at the SINGLE, SINGLE LEVEL. And then at some point, I become disgusted with myself and get all into the Monday night Abs class at Gold's Gym and the Lake Merrit Farmer's Market on Saturday mornings. And that is when SINGLE, SINGLE is great for my health.
Level Two - "My Dance Card is Almost Full"
I have noticed that when I am single, but I am open to dating, I am still very health-conscious. I usually start going out with friends and smiling back at strangers on the street. I think I am motivated by the positive attention I receive from men (rather than avoidance of it that occurs in Level One) and I attribute it to my newfound healthy habits. I also have free time to devote to myself because I'm not necessarily seeing one person regularly. It's like being asked to dance enough to know you look pretty good, but not too much so that you hair is sweated out (or your dance card is full). I think I am probably at my happiest at this level because I'm very ME focused.
Level Three - "Uh Oh, I like Someone"
Okay, this time is when things start to go south for me. I've met someone that I'm very interested in and I start becoming less ME focused and more HIM focused. Regardless of whether or not the guy is a High Metabolism Guy or a Workout Guy (it's doubtful a Diet Guy would make it to this Level with me), we're engaging in the getting-to-know-you activities which usually involve dinners, drinks or long phone conversations. Plus I'm usually tired because I'm trying to figure out the best way to incorporate this man into my life. It's not the worst level though, because although I've met someone I like in Level Three, I'm not 100% sold on him, so I still do take time for myself.
Level Four - "Jamila and [insert name here] Sitting in a Tree . . ."
This is the WORST for me - depending on the kind of man I'm involved with of course. But the point is, I notice that when I am "technically" single (like I'm still checking the Single box on my 1040 forms), I am so into my relationship and doing things for my new man, that I totally forget about myself. Not that any of the men who I've been involved with would ever tell you, "Yeah, that Jamila really took care of me. Did my laundry, washed my feet, rotated my tires." I'm not one of those kinds of chicks. But when I like someone I LIKE them and it makes me happy to make them happy. Unless the man has good eating and physical activity habits, I totally do not. Plus, all that time I spent on myself and working out, I now spend on him. Not okay.
I think it's important that I'm recognizing my habits. That's the first step in making changes . . . I did okay today. I did take a walk at lunchtime, and I had a healthy lunch. I also tried Diet Coke for the first time in a while again. I prefer water. Bleh. I have to be better with eating breakfast though!!!
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