Adventures in Fad Dieting

I have found that when I announce I'm on a diet, people like to be helpful and tell me how their sister or their cousin lost 30 pounds only eating grapefruit for a month. Now in no way, shape or form do I have an RD or any kind of letters after my name indicating that I am an expert in weight-loss. I've never lost SERIOUS weight like Oprah. But I have had 15+ years of dieting experience and I have been on several fad diets. Before anyone starts telling me that I should do the Lemonade Diet or the Cottage Cheese diet, I think I should explain my history with Fad Diets so you know where I'm coming from.

Weight Watchers (2000, 2006): I first tried it with my mom in 2000. We were steadily counting our little points, and we went to a meeting. My mom even bought the Weight Watchers cookbook. But when I kept losing the little post-it notes that had my daily points on them, I said, "F--- it." I'm not real good with the eyeballing amounts. Like a large apple is 2 points, but a medium apple is 1 point. WTF? And when it's the end of the day and you're trying to decide if you can eat that cookie (because it is worth 6 points but you can only eat 5 more points that day), whether or not you ate a large apple or a medium apple really makes a difference. I went back in 2006 and tried it but I think I made it 1 week.

Atkins (2002): After urging from my brother in law and reading the famous book, I embarked on the 2 week induction period where you eat NO carbs. At first it was fun eating cream cheese on celery and butter drenched steak. I lost about 10 lbs after 2 weeks but I promptly went back to carbs after the 2 week period. Why? After a week eating only cheese and meat and veggies, I was tired. I mean, I just DREADED every meal because I had to make sure it did not have one, single carb in it. So eventually, I just didn't want as much food. It was too much focus on food. Plus I don't trust a diet that doesn't let you chew gum. I mean, come on, GUM?

Lose 10 lbs in 3 Days (2007): I have done this one a few times, the most successful in 2007. I make it to Day 2 and am usually like, "Bleh." Yet another diet where you lose weight because you're not eating. It's very strict. You can have like 1 cup of beets, 2 oz of meat and 1 slice of cheese for dinner on Day 1 and a banana and grapefruit for breakfast on Day 2 and some other crap like that. Way too restrictive for me (I'm a free spirit) and I was RAVENOUS in between meals. Plus, I really do not like beets.

Calorie Counting (2004): Like Weight Watchers, this is just a concept where you eat what you want but you make sure you stay within your calorie allotment. I actually liked this program. Again, I had problems keeping track of calories though. Considering I just started regularly balancing my checkbook, obviously keeping a running calorie tab is a challenge; I'm just not detail-oriented by nature. But what I like about it is that it encourages you to read labels more. I hear they have some calculators that can keep track of it for you now . . .

Slim Fast (1997, 2001): The time I lost the most weight of my life was the summer of 1997. I can't attribute it to Slim Fast too much, because that summer I worked out every single day. (I was home for the summer from college and my parents had moved away from my high school friends to the boondocks and I was bored. So bored, I started working out.) I tried the meal replacement bars in 2001 when I was teaching. I told my students, "Miss Edwards is going on a diet so don't bring her any candy, okay kids?" They were very supportive. Problem was Miss Edwards was a bit crabby when she was on Slim Fast because she was hungry. At one point one of my students said, "Miss Edwards can you stop dieting? You're nicer when you're not on a diet." Needless to say, I stopped dieting.

Diet Pills (1995): Now, I didn't pull a Kelly Taylor (90210 fans, stand up!) and start taking any uppers to make me act all crazy. I tried Dexatrim I think and it totally worked in deflating my appetite. I remember getting full off of a large sprite one time. However, in my post-organ donation/blood clot life, there are certain things I'm just not going to mess around with. Hello, Anna Nicole?

So, how am I doing?

Sunday was pretty bad, I won't event talk about it. But today (Monday) is going better so far. Have had a lot of water and fruit and brought my lunch. My afternoon snack will be some salad.