Parking Sharks

I am firmly convinced that part of the reason that such a significant portion of the American population is overweight/obese is related to society's inability to accept a parking space that requires them to walk more than two feet.

I am so DISGUSTED by parking sharks. You know those people who circle the lot, like sharks, ready to pounce on an empty space like a bleeding swimmer in the Pacific. The moment you emerge with your keys in your hand, they follow your every move, subtly rushing you into your car. I hate these people.

This past Sunday, I reached my limit with the parking sharks.

I was at the mall on a Saturday. I did not realize what a popular mall it was as I arrived there right at the beginning of the Saturday mob's arrival. So I scored a pretty good parking spot in the covered parking structure, on the same level as the mall opening. All is well. Until, of course, it was time to leave the mall.

When I came out, with my child in a stroller mind you, the sharks were OUT! It's like the music from "Jaws" was playing, "dun-uh, dun-uh, dun-uh" . . .

So I'm parked in a spot that is labeled "compact." It's a decent sized compact space mind you, as I do not drive one of those toy cars. But I'm not driving a huge SUV either. So naturally, a huge SUV is waiting for my spot. This car is so big that it is blocking the way so that no cars can pass it to find other spots. And it (along with about five other cars that can't pass it) is just sitting there waiting. Waiting and watching as I put the baby in his carseat in the car. Waiting and watching as I unload my bags from the stroller and put them in the car. Waiting and watching as I open the back of the car. Waiting and watching as I collapse the stroller and load it into the car. Waiting and watching as I get in the car. And then of course I have to wait and watch as Jaws, the Monster Truck SUV - along with the five other cars behind him - has to back up so I can back out. As I drive away I glance in my rearview mirror: Jaws is having a hard time getting into the compact spot and the rest of the cars (who have multiplied by now) have to watch and wait as Jaws attempts to get his Great White behind into a space more fitting for, say a Tiger Shark.

It was even more disgusting to me as I left the parking lot and spied several other spaces open that might have been more appropriate for Jaws. However, they would have required a more than 10 second walk into the mall. And we all know that wasn't going to happen.