We vs. Me

I am not quite sure how to broach this topic, and I don't really have a moral, I just perhaps wanted to share an "Aha" moment (yes, I watch Oprah) that I had recently.

It is very difficult when you're pregnant - and I'm thinking perhaps when you're a new mother too - to not think of you and the baby as "we."

I mean you're carrying this life inside you for 9 months and you're constantly told that anything YOU do affects the baby. So naturally this sense of 2 becoming 1 arises . . . however, once the baby is born, I think sometimes this thinking can become problematic.

I hear this from celebrities (and frankly some friends of mine that as I'm becoming a mother, I've lost a little respect for) who complain about the outrageously high child support their ex-wives or baby mamas want. They complain that while they will take care of their child, they are NOT interested in taking care of their ex/baby mama. I'm not quite sure where to draw the line - after all, if the mother doesn't have money to pay the rent, then the child doesn't have a place to stay - but I've heard it a lot. It also makes me mad because these men don't have the responsibility of caring for the child EVERY DAY and they're not willing to consider that a fair exchange for having the freedom to not have the day to day responsibilities might be giving up some of their money . . . but that's another story.

I realized the other day that I was thinking of me and my unborn child as a "we" the other day - and well, it was unnecessary. The problem that I was having didn't have anything to do with the baby or his well-being. It was related to me and my comfort - and it was something that had I not been pregnant, I wouldn't have even thought to ask another person for. As a home owner, I am sometimes annoyed by the fact that I have to do things for myself that I would otherwise call the building manager for. For example, the sink stopper was broken. Pre-pregnancy, I probably would've called Tony the Plumber (who is not the cheapest, but extremely reliable and efficient). Instead, I thought someone would fix it for me for free and on my timeline. Why? Because I was pregnant.

Although I am not judging single mothers or even married women who demand things from their child's fathers or husbands, I have to admit I don't especially want to become someone who is reliant on another person to the point that they can't do anything for themselves. Rather than passive-aggressively complaining about the sink (and assuming that someone was a plumber), I realized recently that I should just take care of it by myself. After all, it didn't have a whole lot to do with the baby - he wouldn't be using it anytime soon. I'm pregnant - I'm not helpless.