Gossip Girl

I've written before about the level of attention one gets when she is pregnant - it's mostly positive, but occasionally someone says something that is pretty offensive/annoying. There's another peculiar form of attention and I think it's best described as "judgement."

Human beings - maybe just Americans, actually - are very judgemental and enjoy gossip and voyeurism. I think it makes us feel better about our lives to judge others. Don't believe me? Look at the debate on health care. The majority of criticisms are based on fallacies. Complete lies. I mean "death panels" had no basis in reality - yet people took it and ran with it. Easier to hear something from someone else and believe it than to do any research for yourself.

I accepted this fact a long time ago. I always thought it was stupid when my friends wanted to fight another girl who was "talking about them." I mean, so what? It's what people do - they gossip. Fighting someone is not going to stop it.

However, for the last couple of years, as I've gone through some tough times that were not exactly private, I've recognized that gossip can be harmful and that people do act on their judgements - even if they have no base in reality. This is particularly bad in the workplace - where I've seen a lot of it as I've gotten older. I am not used to being the subject of other's judgement or commentary. But now that I'm with child, I sure get a lot of questions and comments I never got before. No one at work (or even in my family) cared if I had a significant other, what my living situation was or if I planned to continue working in Sacramento. I mean, I don't think anyone even asked me about my personal life unless I volunteered it. And most times, I don't. So it is strange to me that I am getting all these questions from people I barely know.

My mom would say that I'm being paranoid and that it's polite curiosity and you shouldn't overreact. I have interpreted it as judgement. And I don't like it.

However it's been a lesson for me. My interest in engaging in gossip fests at work has really evaporated. I mean, I wouldn't like to be the subject of people's comments and judgements and I refuse to give it an audience. After all, if you're not listening to someone they won't talk.

This doesn't mean I won't continue to pick up an occasional "Us" magazine or listen to the Celebrity Grapevine on the radio every morning at 8:30 am. That's okay - it's not like I KNOW those people . . .