Lessons from Lieutenant Dan

Last Monday I got some bad news. And I took it pretty hard.

In fact I was angry. I was angry at God. And I totally had a moment like Lt. Dan in "Forrest Gump."

So, Lt. Dan has become disillusioned. He lives his life expecting to die on the battlefield like all his ancestors before him. However, instead of dying in the Vietnam Way, Lt. Dan loses his legs and is confined to a wheelchair. Instead of being happy he is even alive, Lt. Dan gets depressed and down. Forrest tries to pick his spirits up and invites him on his fishing boat, but Lt. Dan is still just despondent. And it doesn't help that Forrest's boat doesn't catch any fish. However, one night it storms and Lt. Dan has it out with God. He climbs to the top of the boat's mass and says, "Okay, it's you and me, God! You and me!"

I had it out with God last Monday night. I was just so angry and disappointed and frustrated. And I sat on the floor of my bathroom expressing those feelings out loud. I was honest and maybe said some things that I shouldn't have said. But me and God were having it out.

After Lt. Dan has it out with God during the storm, the boat suddenly starts catching fish and Lt. Dan is happier, more hopeful.

Tuesday afternoon, I got more hopeful news. And I immediately knew it had something to do with what happened on the floor of the bathroom on Monday night.

I'm not saying life is perfect now - it wasn't for Lt. Dan. After all, he still couldn't walk. But sometimes just the presence of hope is sooooo meaningful. Just being able to hang onto a sliver of something is great. But most importantly, it's meaningful to have evidence that when everyone else writes you off - including medical professionals or other experts with letters after their name - God has a degree and a level of knowledge that supersedes all that. You just gotta have faith.

And maybe sometimes you have to "have it out" and be honest with yourself about your faith (or in my case, the lack thereof) in order to get to a place where you can feel comfortable with just believing.